I was just about to log onto the internet for one last e-mail check when the doorbell rang. Or maybe it was a knock on the door. I’m not entirely sure. Whatever it was it signaled the presence of someone at the door. I answered it, expecting – and finding – CuteNerdBoy on the other side, looking very nice in a black long sleeved shirt and jeans, his dark hair getting just a little bit longish, the way I like it. As I let him in we exchanged our normal hugs and pecks and he handed me two CDs and a book, all of which he had previously mentioned he would give and/or lend me.
“Hold on,” said he. “I have another gift for you, but it’s out in the van. I’ll get it.” He exited, my puzzled eyes following him out. While he went to his van I read the CD booklets, excited about several of the songs on AD#12, so I immediately put it in my stereo. A silly grin stayed plastered on my face as I wondered what this mystery gift was. I glanced out the screen door just in time to see him step up to my stoop, arms full of things that I could not quite make out from my vantage point. I rushed to open the door for him, pressing myself against the doorjamb as flat as possible to let him in. It was then that I spied it. Disbelief washed over my mind, because I knew there was no way I could possibly be seeing what I was seeing.
I think I took a couple of the objects from him, or maybe he just set them on a nearby chair. Shock made my memory a little unreliable. He began to set it up for me.
“You mentioned in your ‘blog that you wanted to learn how to play the keyboard and this was literally gathering dust in my bedroom. Consider it an indefinite loan, until I need it back or you can get your own. But you have to actually play it.”
“I will, I promise,” I answered, my eyes wide, still staring at the keyboard as if it were made of fairy dust and would dissipate.
(Note: Yes, I had already known that he reads my ‘blog, at least once in a while. We’ve spoken about it. There’s pretty much nothing I write here about him that he doesn’t already know or couldn’t guess. Hmmmm. Maybe I shouldn’t be such an open book. After all, the whole “heart on the sleeve” look is not only messy, it clashes with a lot of my outfits.
On with the story…)
There was no nearby electrical outlet and we were on our way to an evening of early dinner, theater and coffee with Sarriah and Boychik (formerly known in these pages as FFDWG(FKaSarah) and WestHollywoodBoy), so I gave him a huge “thank you” hug” and we left it standing in the middle of the living room near the Ikea chair.
When the evening was over and Boychik and Sarriah were on their ways home, CuteNerdBoy came inside to use the restroom. As he did so I moved the keyboard set-up closer to a wall, right in front of my loveseat.
(Now that I think about it, we may have moved it before we left for the evening. Again I plead shock for faulty memory.)
I toyed with the keys a little, unwrapped then rewrapped the cord, wanting to plug it in and start playing with it but feeling strangely shy, as if uncertain about making ungodly sounds with CuteNerdBoy in my apartment. Music is so very important to the both of us that I was almost afraid of making discordant noises.
“Why don’t you plug it in and see how it sounds?” asked his pleasant voice from behind me.
“Okay!” Boy, am I a tough sell or what?
I moved the loveseat out a little and plugged the chord in the electrical outlet as he connected it to the keyboard. He showed me some of the buttons, how things worked, some of the different sounds the board was capable of, then I eagerly reached for the keys at the same moment he started noodling around.
“Please, go ahead,” he said as he stepped back, motioning to the instrument. I hesitated, torn between wanting to hear him play (especially since his musical instrument experience is far more recent than mine) and needing to leap into the experience. Selfishness won out and I stood in front of the keyboard, trying to remember the one song I sort of know how to play.
A little more tinkering with the buttons on both our parts, another huge thank you hug, combined with our good-bye pecks, and off he went home. And I pulled out some old sheet music and started messing around, realizing I was hopelessly out of practice with the very tiny bit of keyboard knowledge that I did know.
Good thing I went to Sam Ash during lunch today to buy a keyboard fingering chart and a “keyboard basics” book/DVD, isn’t it?
There’s a lot more to the weekend, of course. But it was such an odd mix of fun and self-esteem hits that I’m not quite sure how to relate it. Maybe later, when thinking about the sad bits makes me a little less sad.
Instead I’ll just concentrate on that one lovely moment. For now.